CANNES, FRANCE: can't capture it

i find beauty in the words...that people say...without thought. but in mind of intelligence. the words that publish themselves without permission. the thoughts that are so personal, they're public. i am a fan of sharing such words with you.



today, does not beat other days. today was of good nature, though. i much enjoy the routine i have created here. it is one of spontenaiety, new relationships, life lessons, baguettes and paninis.

i want to photograph everything. i want to film everyone. i want to write down everything i hear and i want to capture all i can. it's true. but i can't. for the past week, my sensory glands have been working overtime. so much to absorb, so much to take in. it's easy to get here and drown. that's for sure. good thing my mom made me take swimming lessons when i was young.

i spent a good part of today asleep. aaand a good part of last night awake. until the early hours of the morning, i was wide up working on a few films with friends. we had a good time, it was just exhausting to say the least. i now, have worked with a wide variety of people. all seemingly a bit older, but that is why i have loved it so much. our screening is tomorrow night at the villa montfleury, a hotel across the village. should be a good time.

odd note:
the fishermen here astound me. they get their midday scoop of gelato, roll up their ten-euro-trousers and jump from boat to boat entertaining no one but themselves and the marine life. pethanque is so popular with the older men. as is assuming that none of the american-looking girls speak french and then saying weird things to us. i guess i sometimes look american. and they say funny stuff. and then i retort in french. and they become flustered and confused. it's awesome.

when passing the breakdancers on the streets, i love how they look crazy-tough...and then you toss them a coin and they say "ohhh, merci mademoiselle. bonjournée!" with a voice equivalent to that of a small bird, delicate and sincere. funny boys.

i love how the cast and directors are all here to screen their films for us. today i went to the main theatre at the Palais for "la mujer son cabeza." it premiered in spanish with french and english subtitles. one of my friends gave me a ticket to this red-carpet event. it was exciting for me. though, i went alone.

when i found myself at the top of those red steps, i realized i had a lot of unanswered questions. none of my inquiries related to the film i was about to experience or the people that shuffled around me and defined the chaos that cornered me up there. it was just a blur, really. all of it.

alone, on the french riviera, tickets in hand and hopes in the sky...i curtsied to the usher and made my way through the mess of awe-struck wonderers...right to my seat. middle row à la balcon...dans le centre.

the film was "interesting," i'll give it that. i'm just not much of a critic. i'm rather, a creator.

donc, je sais c'est plus tard. je devrais dors maintenant, et je devrais practiquer mon francais tous les temps. tonight i went to a beach party and walked past eliza dushku from Bring it On. afterwards we got gelato and happened to brush by mike tyson. ridiculous. je sais.

tomorrow i hope to see a few films, swim a few laps and meet a few people. you know people swim laps in the OCEAN here?! it's insane to me. they go back and forth...parallel to the shoreline. incredible, really.

and oh, i figured out what i want to do with my life. i forgot to mention that. kind of relieved i finally know. it's been like, what? 19 years i've been taking a stab at it? well, i know now. and i couldn't be more thrilled.